What Am I Strengthening?

Every choice leaves something behind.

A thought is entertained. A word is spoken. An action is taken. A response is repeated. The moment passes. But something remains.

We have strengthened something.

 Perhaps we strengthened patience. Perhaps resentment. Perhaps courage. Perhaps fear. Perhaps one-pointed attention. Perhaps distraction. Perhaps our willingness to consult the Conscience. Or perhaps we strengthened an old habit that has been making decisions for us for years.

This is one of the quiet realities of practice: Whatever we repeatedly practice becomes easier to repeat.

Last week we asked: What am I practicing?

That question reminds us that practice is not confined to Seated Silent Meditation, a yoga posture, or any formal spiritual discipline. We are practicing all day long. Every relationship gives us another opportunity to practice something. But there is a natural question that follows. If I am always practicing something—what is my practice strengthening?

The answer matters, because what we strengthen today, can influence the choices available to us tomorrow.

First, Let’s Examine The Familiar Path.
Imagine that someone says something we don’t like. Before we have had time to consider an appropriate response, an old habit may already be preparing one.

Defend yourself. Become angry. Withdraw. Judge. Rehearse the offense.

Perhaps we have traveled this road many times. And that is precisely our human challenge. The more frequently we travel a familiar road, the easier it becomes to take that road again. This is why habit can sometimes feel like destiny.

But Yoga Science offers us a very different understanding. Habit is powerful, but habit is not destiny. A samskara (an old habit) has been strengthened through repetition. And through conscious practice, a different response can also be strengthened.

That possibility is the beginning of freedom. But, What Does It Mean, to Be Free? We often think of freedom as the ability to do whatever we want. But what if, what we want, is being dictated by a habit we did not consciously choose?

If anger automatically determines our words, are we free? If fear continually prevents an appropriate action, are we free? If resentment requires us to replay an old injury for the hundredth time, are we free? If a desire insists upon being served simply because it has appeared in the mind, are we free?

Yoga Science offers another possibility. Freedom is the growing capacity to choose our response rather than automatically repeat our conditioning.

Of course, that freedom does not arrive all at once. It is practiced. And every successful practice, strengthens our capacity to experience it again.

This is Where The Choice Between the Preya and the Shreya Appears.

Every relationship presents choices. The preya represents what is immediately pleasant, comfortable, or familiar, but leaves pain in its wake. The Shreya represents what will lead us toward our highest and greatest good. Sometimes the two coincide. Often they do not.

When the preya and shreya point in different directions, we experience conflict. The Conscience may advise: Be patient. Habit says: Answer immediately. The Conscience may advise: Let it go. Habit says: Keep thinking about it. The Conscience may advise: Have the difficult conversation. Fear says: Avoid it. The Conscience may advise: Listen. The Ego says: Explain why you are right.

At that moment, the Bridge of Yoga becomes profoundly practical. We can pause. We can direct one-pointed attention inward. We can listen for the Inner Wisdom reflected by the Conscience. And then, we can decide which voice we are willing to serve.

When we sacrifice the preya and serve the shreya, something important happens. Certainly, we have made a choice appropriate to that particular relationship. But we have done something else as well. We have strengthened our capacity to make that choice again.

For Example, Imagine For A Moment That Freedom Is Strengthened Through Use

Suppose anger arises, and we choose not to serve it. The anger may still be present. We haven’t failed because it appeared. But instead of allowing anger to determine our words, actions and consequences, we pause, and permit Inner Wisdom to determine our action of sacrificing the preya and serving the shreya in order to transform the contractive and poisonous energy of anger into an expansive, creative, healing force.

That is a moment of freedom. Perhaps a very small one. But it is real. And having exercised that freedom once, we have strengthened our capacity to exercise it again.

This is why the ordinary relationships of everyday life are so important. They are not interruptions to our spiritual practice. They are where the practice takes place.

The impatient driver. The disappointing email. The person who misunderstands us. The family member who knows exactly which button to push. The unexpected change of plans. The desire that insists it must be satisfied. Each arrives carrying the same invitation: What will you strengthen now?

The Bridge of Yoga Is Made Stronger by Crossing It The word yoga means union. The Bridge of Yoga is the practical means of establishing union between the Inner Wisdom reflected by the Conscience, and our outer thoughts, words, and deeds. But every bridge is useful only when we cross over it.

Every time we recognize Inner Wisdom and successfully carry it across the Bridge into outer action, we practice union. And every successful crossing strengthens our willingness and capacity to cross again.

Slowly, slowly, something begins to change. We may still experience anger, but anger does not possess quite the same authority. Fear may still speak, but fear no longer automatically receives the deciding vote. Desire may still make its request, but desire is no longer entitled to an immediate yes. An old samskara may still appear, but its appearance does not require our strict obedience.

There is now space for a choice. And within that space lies freedom.

Freedom From What? Perhaps this is where the meaning of freedom becomes clearer. Yoga Science is not promising us freedom from difficult people. Freedom from unpleasant circumstances. Freedom from disappointment. Freedom from every fearful thought. Or freedom from the appearance of the preya.

Remember: Life will continue presenting its curriculum. But the freedom we are cultivating is more intimate: It is the Freedom from automatically serving whatever appears in the mind.

That is an extraordinary possibility. In actuality, the thought can appear, without becoming a word. The desire can appear, without becoming an action. The fear can appear, without becoming the decision. And the anger can appear, without becoming the relationship.

Between what appears within us and what we choose to send into the world stands the faculty of discrimination. And with practice, that faculty can become stronger.

All of which begs the question: What Are You Strengthening?

No single choice will erase every old habit. That expectation would only discourage us. Yoga Science asks for something much more practical.

Practice. Again. And again. And again.

Each time we serve the shreya, we strengthen our capacity to serve it again. Each time we carry Inner Wisdom across the Bridge of Yoga into outer action, we deepen our experience of union.

Each time we decline to permit an old habit to make the decision, we experience a little more freedom. And perhaps, this is why there truly are no insignificant moments. Each relationship offers another opportunity, either to strengthen a habit that limits us, or to deepen our union with Inner Wisdom and the freedom that naturally follows.

So today, when a familiar thought appears—when an old desire makes its request—when fear offers its prediction—when anger prepares its speech—when the Conscience quietly reflects another possibility—there is a Question Worth Asking: What Am I Strengthening?

Because whatever we strengthen today—may become easier to choose tomorrow. Experiment with it, and find out.

Meet the author